However, all this week I’ll be
at some temp job that the first 6 hours of my work day each day is supposed to
be spent writing. That’s it; all I have to do is write. I guess they’re
scanning like 10 peoples writing style each week and see if you can identify them
just by the way they type. The speed, the words they use, amount of times they
use back space, all that shit.
So I figured whatever, I’ll plug
some of the stuff I’ve been listening to lately that is available for free
online. Maybe it will make this painstakingly slow work week go faster. Plus technically
I’m getting paid a pretty penny for this, and I can guarantee I’ll never get
paid this handsomely again for writing about underground rap. So here it is,
the worst excuse for a review you’ll ever come across.
First off Emily Rugburn is T.M.F.S.E.
(The Man From Somewhere Else, formerly known as abc-def) and Junkwaffel of
Slangcorp. TMFSE is known for his slow delivery, unique cadence, bizarre
vocabulary, intricate internal rhyme schemes, clever puns, and songs about
drugs. I think ‘I Wish I Could Grow a
Beard’ came out in early 2010.
1.)
Imaginary Friend
The cd
starts off with a soliloquy from an ‘imaginary friend’ and Junkwaffel drops
some soft jazzy samples in the background that set the pace for the ep. For the
longest time I thought this quote was from a movie, and I was determined to see
it. However, after google searching direct quotes from it more times than I'd like to admit I came to the
conclusion that it’s not a movie. I guess a movie about an imaginary friend
wouldn’t be that visually stimulating anyway.
2.)
Slam Dancing with the Stars
Yep, this
song is pretty cool. I don’t really know what to say. Starts and ends with
another quote I don’t know the origin of, but I tried to find the movie for a
while. As TMFSE said he rocked the posse cut solo… and he laced it. I think
this track came out when rappers saying “no homo” was the thing to say, kind of
like swag is now. So TMFSE drops the line “fuck homo” in there, but I really
doubt a vegan (self-proclaimed) junkie is homophobic. Or maybe he meant literally
fuck homos and he’s down? Either way people take the shit rappers say to
seriously sometimes.
3.)
Perms, Sperm, and Sherm feat. GDP
Starts off
with another quote I don’t know what it’s from. In case you can’t read, this
song features fellow Slangcorp alumni, GDP. GDP did a good job rapping at TMFSE’s
super slow bpm. Yep, this is another
cool song by Emily Rugburn. And it ends with a relevant Bill Hicks quote about
drugs, hell yeah finally something I can pin point.
4.)
Watermelon Lemonade
Arm Arm Leg
Head. I don’t get it but sure, why not. TMFSE does 8 bar verses in this song
instead of the standard 16. I’m always into different structures, but sometimes
I wonder how incredibly short his already short tracks would be is he rapped at
an average pace. “…Smack your ass no homo,” there it is, the token ‘no homo’
line of the time.
5.)
Pumpernickle
I have no
idea who the girl who dubs her vocals behind TMFSE’s vocal track is, but I’ve
heard her on a few Emily Rugburn tracks. I think you have to be from Jersey to be able to rap anything about pumpernickle.
6.)
One More Bag feat. Pistol
Another
Slangcorp affiliate featured on this release, this time it’s Pistol. Pistol is
only featured on the hooks though. Tracks like this always make me wonder how
these dudes on heroin are able to be so prolific with their music, when there
are so many clean people out there that can’t get anything done. It’s like, “Hey
look what these people did while heavily addicted to such a deadly drug. What’s
you’re excuse for not getting anything done again?” Remind me to never to work
in a rehab center.
7.)
The Girl with the Thorn in her Arm
For the
longest time this was my favorite track on the release. Everything about it,
from the title being a pun on The Smiths song ‘The Boy with the Thorn in his side’ to the guitar (I think that’s a guitar) loop that TMFSE raps over with
no drums, to how the drums kick in and he does the “refrain” or whatever a real
critic would call that. Is it bad to like songs about someone else’s struggle
drug addiction? I like this song so much I used a line with it to try and pick
up a girl before. We didn’t have anything to do, so I suggested “let’s get high
and drive all night.” I don’t think it worked, but that’s alright because I can
use it again on another girl out there because chances are she doesn’t read
this blog or listen to Emily Rugburn.
8.)
Star-Belly Sneech
This is
another good jam to finish off this ep. At the end Junkwaffel drops the beat
and lets you get a better listen to TMFSE’s unique style.
Bonus track)
But wait,
there’s more! This song became my favorite over ‘The Girl with the Thorn in her
Side’ once I discovered it. I feel like for the most part bonus tracks are
fading away because so much stuff is only digital, but they were always my
favorite part of a cd when I was younger. I really dig beat boxing drums and the
sample and am pretty curious of the origin. “Just cause my name on the flyer
don’t mean I’m gonna show up,” was an awesome line, then I heard it was true.
On the ‘Only Rule: Eyes Out’ tour with HW, ESH, and DJ Halo I saw according to
their dates a few days before they played in Pittsburgh, those guys were
playing Trenton, NJ with Raymond Strife and TMFSE. I told HW that was pretty
rad they were getting to play with TMFSE. A few days later when I met played
with those guys in Pittsburgh they told me he showed up so late he didn’t even
get to play. On one hand that really sucks, but on the other I think it adds to
his “enigma” if you will. But then again, I can’t stand when I book something
and people don’t show up. “TMFSE the black Heath Ledger.”Get 'I Wish I Could Grow a Beard' for free.
